In a fragrant, well-lit restaurant in Virginia Beach's Town Center, Tidewater Log met with former "Best Of Hampton Roads" public relations coordinator and co-editor, "Mr. X", to discuss the dark side of the Virginia-Pilot's seemingly innocent and genuine annual contest. (No, "Mr. X" is not the real name of our informant...in fact there isn't an "x" anywhere in his name. Actually, it's a woman, but she made us guarantee that we'd conceal her identity as much as we could. Why she agreed to pose for a photograph, we'll never know. She may have been a little confused by the camera - thought it was a tape recorder or a phone or something.)
TL: Thank you for agreeing to speak with us.
Mr. X: My pleasure. I'm tired of keeping these secrets. I'm old and can do what I want. (laughs)
TL: Okay - plain and simple...how does one get the "Best of Hampton Roads" distinction?
Mr. X: Money.
TL: The public has nothing to do with the outcome?
Mr. X: Nothing at all. The winner paid for everything - the banner, the little plaques, the mention in the paper. You know, it even costs to get on the ballott in the first place! That alone should tell you it's crooked. The public just doesn't...they don't see how things really are.
TL: What happens to the ballots? The online ones?
Mr. X: They're absolutely meaningless. It's just something to drive web traffic up for the newspaper's website. You know, on average just about 40 people go there a day...and most of them are members of the newspaper staff leaving angry, rambling comments their own and each other's stories.
TL: How about the old mail-in ballots? What happened to those?
Mr. X: Dumped 'em in the Bay myself. Unread. Hell - unopened!
TL: So, are we talking about the winners paying for their awards with money...or products and services?
Mr. X: Back when it started, 15 years ago, we'd do it for free oil changes, pizza, patio chairs, and such...but nowadays it's plain ol' money, honey (laughs).
TL: How much?
Mr. X: Depends. A frozen yogurt place or shoe repair place doesn't have to pay as much as a law firm, a private school - or one of them big ol' seafood buffets.
TL: On average?
Mr. X: Oooooooooh....I'd say...'bout twenty thousand for a high roller...three thou for a small fry. And that was back in 2004, before I quit.
TL: What happened? Why did you leave?
Mr. X: I can honestly say that the people I worked with in the "Best of" division were the greediest, most mean-spirited, downright cruel people I'd ever worked with...and I used to work in a slaughter room up in Smithfield in my younger days.
TL: Wow. Gross.
Mr. X: Yep. Pig brains being squeezed outta their lil' ears! Squeeeeeeeeaaaawwww!!! (bugs out her eyes and sticks out her tongue)
TL: Eeeeeeeew! SERIOUSLY - that's GROSS. No more.
Mr. X: Aw, I'm sorry. (laughs) I'd see business owners really do a great job of campaigning - getting their customers to vote and spread the word and such. Some had just opened their restaurants or whatever and really thought that one of those banners hanging out front would bring in more customers.
TL: Well, they do...don't they?
Mr. X: Not at all. Tell me, do you know anyone with any sense that frequents a business because of some cheap banner flapping in the wind out front?
TL: (thinking) Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Mr. X: NO! Only an idiot would. Towards the end, I told some real nice folks to just print up their own if they feel the need to. Print one up and hang it yourself. (laughs)
TL: So, the cruelty you saw? What happened?
Mr. X: The public doesn't know about the team of about sixty "Best of" employees going all over Hampton Roads all year long intimidating and threatening business owners. I've seen 'em trash places because they thought the owners were hiding money. They'd smash windows after hours. They'd release bags of roaches or termites WHILE health inspectors watched. They're in on the whole thing, too, you know.
TL: That's horrible.
Mr.X: Yep. And remember, these were families - with babies or kids in colleges. Their lives were ruined. In some cases of immigrant owned restaurants - the authorities were called, a raid took place, and they were forced to leave the country. Immediately.
TL: All because of some dumb banner? or a sign?
Mr. X: Yeah. People think it's really important...mostly the "Best of" staff. They don't mess around.
TL: I guess it's their livelihood. They have to pretend it's important.
Mr. X: Bingo. It's everyone at the newspaper's livelihood. We're talking about ALL the major regions of Hampton Roads - Portsmouth, Chesapeake, Norfolk, Suffolk, Virginia Beach, Hampton, Newport News, and Williamsburg. You do the math.
TL: Dear God, we're talking about...
Mr. X: It's a multi-million dollar operation.
TL: For....what?
Mr. X: For nothing at all. Sounds like a good deal, doesn't it? (laughs)
TL: (laughs)
Mr. X: (bugs out her eyes and sticks out her tongue again)
TL: AAAAAAGH! That's it - this interview's OVER!
15 comments:
This does not sound believable, what additional evidence can you provide to verify any of these claims?
It's a possibility that this sort of thing occurred. I worked for a market research firm for 12 years and it was ran based on high ethics and trust that the client will get true data. We took great pride in our work until we got a new manager with no morals. I witnessed lying and cheating and refused to go along with faking surveys. I ended up quitting. I must say that during my first 2 years, we had the Best of HR ballots sent to our office where they were opened and tallied. I don't know about other locations that was used for this project but we made sure to give all the information to the client. Nothing ever got tossed. I've missed working in the research field, it can be rewarding if one is lucky enough to find an honest boss to work for such as I had for 11 years.
Weak.
Seriously, who can't tell that this is satirical?
Darn funny, though. :)
My father-in-law owned a pet shop in Virginia Beach back in the 90's...he always got tons of votes but never ever won. We thought it was a scam back then. Satirical or not this article has a point. It's all just a big ad campaign for the paper...which has been going downhill for years.
Our business has won Best of for 10+ years and this is just not even true. Also-more people do come in because of that banner. We live in such a transient area with new residents moving here all the time. Best of Hampton Road has really helped people find businesses they're interested in.
Thanks for the laugh!
I don't want customers at my bar because they saw a banner out front.I want the service and food to speak for themselves.Locals like their favorite spots to be secrets.
I believe this is all true
Yep, It's a total ad campaign a business owner has to buy into. Hosted by the ad media/mafia. Hmmm, no cussing or spitting... Is mooning allowed?
Yes you can buy a banner if you win and IF you want you can buy an ad, but the voting is real. Our business won a best of title and of course we opted for the banner. It draws people in and is great advertisement, but we certainly did not pay to win. There is no way we would have had the money for that. This may be a way for the "best of commitee" to make money, but it is not a "fixed" competition. I can guarantee that.
This is not true, the business I work for got 3rd place and we didnt even know we were in the running it after is was all over. Now the part of this contest that my be true is the winners buy thier votes...buy getting there customers to vote and vote and vote...we got 3rd fair and square
no one cares about a third place winner!!! sounds like this "winner" is a winer! be realistic...votes cost money. just because my business came in 19th as a best winner, i am not upset. just revengeful (is revengeful a word?) i plan to hire haynes furniture for my advertising blitz next year. lots of sales - up to 103% off and no payment until 2033. yeaa!
true, that chinese place in Suffolk,VA near Goodwill and Big lots is awful yet they had a 'best of' award. Truelly the worse customer service and food I've ever had.. They even water down their soda so they can save money!
All of yal shut up ya reckon, yal dont mean nothing and aint nothing to no one
The thing that is so ridiculous about this is having over 300 some categories, times X amount of businesses in each,from what I see online, wouldn't there be business owners to combat all this. How would it be possible for a "write in candidate" to win over a paying advertiser. That debunks your entire theory. Good effort with your made up story, but noone is "buying" this!
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